Hawaii is one of those places that just seeps into your heart. You can not live there for any amount of time and not feel connected to the land and the people. I really do miss it. I feel like I left a part of me on Maui and that I can only recover it if I return. Returning to Maui tough, that would mean a huge change in my life. I would either have to take a chance on a job that may or may not pan out, or graduate and make a bunch of money. I still have connections there so I could return if I really wanted to.
I guess I would need to know how my family would react to that. Would my mother be able to stand being alone in the city without any kids or grandkids around? Would my wife be able to handle a move half way across the world again? Would my kids be better or worse off? There would be a lot to weigh out. Moreso, I guess I would need to know that IF I crossed paths with my Big Island hottie from all those years ago, would I be strong enough to resist the urge to just wonder what it could have been.
Our souls danced a couple of times. It was like they were connected. My Big Island Nicole and I connected in a way I never have with anyone else. This waiting and wondering really just makes me insane. Am I imagining things, or did they really happen? Am I exaggerating the depth of the attraction I had to her and the seeming way we connected, or is it all true? Twelve years and counting... Do you even remember that I exist?
